Like a Virgin

Here’s one to be filed under the “absurd,” except for it’s frighteningly real. There is now a “solution” for Muslim women that are raped (losing their virginity before their wedding night) and can face death because of it.

For Americans, in our more modern, not to mention, sexually-charged society, this will be hard to fathom. In Egypt, and many Muslim countries, women are expected to stay pure for their wedding night…under threat of death. In fact they are still required to show their blood-stained sheet as proof of their purity.

While Egypt tends to be a little more liberal (though still a constitutional theocracy), a 2005 UN report estimated that 52 out of a total 819 murders in the country in 1995 were, so called, “honour killings.”

These folks take keeping the marriage bed pure to the extreme. While there are many good reasons to stay pure, theirs are for the express purposes of control, which is not love. The fact that this is a huge double standard is notwithstanding. (Men don’t have to do any such thing). But this isn’t even an accurate portrayal of virginity.

Well you don’t even have to be a particularly randy female to have a problem with this. Women have been forced to turn to surgery to repair damage, in many cases, caused by rapes. The surgical procedure is called hymenorraphy. A doctor will recreate the hymen by piecing together its remnants. It can also include inserting a gelatin capsule filled with a blood-like substance that will burst during intercourse, simulating bleeding. If there is not enough hymen left, or if the woman was born without one, part of the vaginal wall is used to recreate this thin tissue.

The operation, which is considered relatively simple and performed on an outpatient basis in western countries, is illegal in Muslim countries. The surgeries tend to be “back alley” procedures in terms of cleanliness and credentials. Though pricey at 1000 Egyptian pounds, the cost of not having it is often far worse.

But finally, now there is an alternative. Muslim women everywhere are breathing a collective sigh of relief. The Chinese company, Gigimo, (a company known for their sex toys.), has invented an artificial virginity hymen kit. For much less money and trouble, the device leaks out a red substance when inserted and broken. So on your wedding night, your husband will think you are a virgin still.

Conservative Egyptian lawmakers, with laws on many female bodies, have banned the product, calling it a “mark of shame.”

Now, I’m the farthest thing from a feminist, but I have a huge problem with the incredible double standard this presents. I’m surprised that more women, and especially the feminists haven’t spoken out about this. I find it so sad to see women abused and reduced to objects. The fact that they don’t know any other way, because, “that’s the way it is” just makes it even worse.

Sheik Sayed Askar, a member of the conservative Muslim Brotherhood political party, said: “This product encourages illicit sexual relations. Islamic culture forbids these relations except within the confines of marriage.”

[Somehow I get the impression that it is more permissible if you happen to be a male.]

Abdel Moati Bayoumi, a prominent Islamic scholar, agrees. He said: “I think this should absolutely not be allowed to be exported because it brings more harm than benefits. Whoever (imports it) should be punished.”

But I ask you, which is more shameful: making a mistake, or the negligent punishment of the mistake. Declaring only one of the two parties involved as guilty, and deserving of death.

Support for the product, includes, Marwa Rakha, an Egyptian blogger and activist for women’s rights, said “the Artificial Virginity Hymen ‘sticks it in the face of every male hypocrite’ in an Arab culture that condemns women’s sexuality but turns a blind eye to male promiscuity.”

I think that about sums it up. Maybe it’s not so absurd after all.

c.2009